Uncle John, This is hard. I am heartbroken to hear of your passing and even more so that I never got to enjoy you in my life as I did when I was a child. You have and always will be my most favorite, adoring, caring, and amazing family member and my only uncle that I have always held so very dear to my heart. Life took us on different paths, and I was too little to stand my ground and demand to see my Uncle, but just know, you have always lived in my heart, and will until the day I leave this earth.
As a child, in the tumultuous environment known as my parents, you were a sense of calm that I have never been able to explain. There was something about your presence that made me feel so safe and loved when everyone else around me at that time was in chaos.
I will never forget, and to this day think of it every Christmas, but we were all gathered around the Christmas tree opening presents. I think I was 4 -- it was our first Christmas in California when we were living with you. I remember there was a lot of laughter and excitement as up to that point in my little life, I had not had that type of family experience at Christmas so it was very new to me. I could not tell you what I got that year in the form of toys, but what I did get that year was comfort as I sat on your lap and opened my stocking. In it were gold coins. They were the chocolate candy type, and I remember you saying "now don't go and spend that all in one place Michele!" with rounds of laughter to follow. I sat and looked at those coins and in some way was in awe as I looked around the room watching my cousins open presents, everyone laughing, and the room was filled with love on that day. I have never forgotten that and to this day when I think of Christmas, I see those coins and think of that particular day, and have lived a lifetime of recreating that same feeling every year - with my own kids and now my grandkids. For that, Uncle John, thank you as YOU gave me Christmas and the true meaning of it to my heart that has brought you back to my memory each and every year since then. The fact that you left at Christmas, did not surprise me as you were the true spirit of Christmas to one little broken and lost girl.
I have missed a lifetime of having my Uncle in my life and can only imagine all the amazing things I would have experienced, the heartfelt encouragements, the laughter, good times, and the direction my life might have taken if you had been involved.
I love you Uncle John. I know you are with Angie and other family members and can only imagine the reception you were given as they welcomed such a loving and amazing soul back to the garden.
I have never forgotten the love you showed me, nor will I ever forget. You brought me more joy in our short time physically together than you will ever know at a very young age that I have held onto my entire life. And even though I did not understand it all then, as I got older, it became clear: My Uncle John was a man of unconditional love, compassion, encouragement, and support. The comments from my cousins confirm it. It is a fun fact that our lives took on very similar paths of adventure through the years - motorcycles, camping, hiking, flying, Indian Guides (my son participated when we first moved to Florida), and general living of life to the fullest.
Rest in peace my beloved Uncle -- well rest when you can and rip it up with those you love and have missed while on this earth! I look forward to the day I get to see you again and feel that special love that radiates through in your hug. I love you and am so incredibly thankful to you for being my Uncle.
Love always, your forever niece, Michele
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